THIS MAKES ME MAD.

This makes me mad.

AUTISM isn't on board. A PERSON affected by autism is on board.

It's a small distinction but one that is very, very important to make.

Do You Put People First?

I don't often call people on political correctness stuff because I know we all make mistakes and often, we spend our days trying to retrain our brain not to say phrases we've been saying since childhood.

BUT

When it comes to intellectual or physical challenges, it's an entirely different ballgame. I'm tired of reading articles, studies and blogs classifying people as their affliction rather than as a person.

Say I want to write a story about a brave young man who has AIDS. I want to tell you about some of the incredible fundraising he does, how he's changed perceptions of AIDS patients and how he's left a mark on the world. Do I call him an AIDS kid? Heck no. He's a boy, a boy who happens to have AIDS.

Or maybe, I want to tell you about the 20-something young man with Down Syndrome I talk to on the bus everyday. Do I call him a Down's kid? Again, heck no. He's a wonderfully entertaining and bright young man who is affected by (or with, depending on your view) Down Syndrome.

Yet everyday, I read stories about this autistic boy or autistic girl. So I ask, why are we labeling him or her as a problem first, then a person?

He or she is a person first, no ifs, ands or buts about it.

My son has autism. My son is affected by autism. He is not autism itself and I will never allow it to come before him.

Can a Child Outgrow Autism?

An interesting read form the National Post. Are these children really outgrowing autism or are therapies working so well that differences become indistinguishable?

Would love to find out more about the socio-economic status of the families involved.... were these children receiving only government-funded therapy or also private therapy on the side? Private therapy hours have skyrocketed the gains in my son's development in a way that still being on waiting lists for government-funded care never would have.

Read it here: National Post

LABELLED

When my son was diagnosed with Autism, I cried. 

I knew that the diagnosis was coming, I had been waiting for it and fighting for it for over a year. What broke my heart, was the label.

We all get labelled. We ask new people we meet what they do, as if their career defines them. We label each other as the blonde, the laugh-er, the loud one, the short one, the funny one, the smart one. And now my son has been labelled; not as the funny guy or the fun one, not as the smart guy or the smiley one but the autistic one. While the label would make big gains in his life as far as funding for therapies would go it would also change his life in not-so-awesome ways.

We often label others for good reason, making associations between a name and a job, distinctive laugh, tv show etc. help us to remember facts about the people around us. But what happens when those labels are negative?

Yesterday, I posted about NASA mentoring students with disabilities. I just copied the title from the post I was linking to. I immediately felt shame because the word "disability" makes me feel queasy.

The prefix, "dis" means "not" or a "lack of".

As in, NOT-ABLE or a LACK OF ABILITY.

As a parent, I often worry about self-fulfilling prophesy. I've spoke of it a lot this week in regards of a blog written by a woman who basically claimed her son will most likely become the next school shooter. She likened her son to boys who came before him and said I AM THEIR MOTHER. I feel that she is placing this entire world of negativity on her son and has lost any glimmer of hope. She's spending her life treating him as a criminal, eventually this boy may turn and say, "well this is what they expect of me, I might as well do it."

So back to disability.

I choose to look at my child in terms of what he CAN do and not what he cannot. I will not place limits (however invisible) on his potential. I will not allow his teachers to expect less output from him and I expect them to push him as hard as they would a "gifted" child. I will nurture and celebrate every gain, no matter how seemingly insignificant it may be to others. I will not compare him to other children instead, every day I will encourage him to be better than the day before.

Today I will celebrate that he can finally print his own name,
rather than being upset with his rogue graffiti efforts.

NASA to mentor students with disabilities

What a wonderful idea, NASA is embarking on a project to mentor kids with disabilities and encourage careers in STEM.

Read the article on Disability Scoop here.

The Bully

I hear a commotion.

It was at the one area in the entire room where we couldn't see what the kids at the breakfast club were doing. There was yelling and I ran down the hall to see what was going on. As I round the corner I see my boy fall to the ground, pushed by another kid. One of the crowd sees me and yells, telling the pusher to go. Now.

I follow him outside.

He tells me he hates that kid because he follows him around.

keep him away from me or I'll kick his ass

For a moment I wonder why there's no lynch mob waiting to take this bully to task for his crimes.

I tell him he should go to an adult, that's what we're here for.

what's the point? You're on his side

Precisely that moment, my heart breaks.
I see the bully not as a bully
but as a kid who's been terrorized himself.

He wouldn't come to us because he doesn't trust
the grown ups around him to make the right decisions.
He scared.
He feels alone.

I tell him I'm sorry my son bugs him
and I tell him he can come to me anytime.
I'm not always on my kid's side,
I'm looking for the right side.

I don't even realize that I'm crying until I walk down the stairs
and my boy ask me why my eyes are red.

I ask him if he's hurt and he tells me
we were just playing mom
and I realize he doesn't understand what just happened.

Sensory Overload

Here's a great video if you're looking to educate someone on what it's like to deal with sensory overload.

Sorry, link only as I'm not smart enough to figure out how to upload a Vimeo video onto here.

http://vimeo.com/52193530

Next, he'll be writing novels.

Today, my eldest son wrote his first sentence.

This made my mommy heart swell to unimaginable heights. Today was a good day.

Dreaming As BIG As An Olympian

Thanks to the lack of cable in my house, I don't have to fight with my kids about how much TV they watch. We do enjoy movies but even when it's a favourite movie there are really only so many times you can watch it. But something miraculous happened last week… through a free channel floating through our still intact satellite dish, we've been able to enjoy some of the Olympics on CTV.

How incredible.

I mean, how marvellous are these athletes? Don't they just make you want to work to become better at something? For the first time in 6 weeks, there has been no lagging when it's time for me to face the DVD player and submit to a torture exercise routine with Jillian Michaels.

But if it's possible, something even more exciting than hardworking, gifted athletes setting records, achieving dreams and representing their countries has happened… My kids are paying attention.

Kid #1 has an ASD diagnosis and Kid #2 is not ASD but emulates his big brother a lot. For most of their lives, the only thing that has ever held their attention for more than a few minutes are toys with wheels or the occasional Thomas video. And now, the Olympics.

The boys are watching intently; clapping, cheering and gasping. They're interacting with the athletes through the TV, showing concern when someone falls and jumping excitedly when someone wins. When I think I couldn't possibly be happier, tearing up over this HUGE step forward in our home, something even bigger happens. They tell me, "I can do that Mom. I can try." 

These 2012 Summer Olympic Games have opened a door for me to teach my boys about competition, working hard, having goals and winning/losing. For the first time, I've been able to explain a concept to them without having to create an illustration using dinky cars. It's big. Probably the biggest occasion in my parenting career so far.

Thank you, Olympians. Your astounding dedication has nudged open a very heavy door into the minds of my children. Although my dreams are different than yours, I'm now dreaming just as big as you are.