Tuesday, April 9, 2013

uncomfortable as hell

I don't know if it's stalking but I do know one thing, it's uncomfortable as hell.

It started with some completely innocent text messaging....

                                        Hope you have a great day, you do so much good, you deserve it!
                                                    I received a great job offer!
             Will you be at _______ this week? I have good news!

Then it got uncomfortable...

               I'm shopping with a friend, what kind of pants should she buy?           
I've been invited to a transvestite-themed wedding, should I dress as a woman?       Can you help me pick out women's clothes?     Can I borrow some of your clothes? Shopping with a girlfriend, what kind of shoes do women wear?
                   Do I need to wear a bra?
   Friend bought shoes, if they don't fit, she's giving them to you.

You won an award at my work, they gave me a gift certificate for you.

Answer one and 10 more will instantly come through. Ignore, and the hurt/hate gameplay starts.

I asked for it to stop. I demanded it stop.

I googled you and saw this.
                      How is your relationship going?
                                                Can I have a picture of you?

I stopped going to places this person frequents. I cringe every time a text message rings through on my phone. The "award" I won? I never applied for anything and it never materialized after I asked for an official record of it from the company. The "friend" who's giving me her stuff? Never met her. What woman asks one she's never met, through a guy, for fashion advice?

This isn't healthy.

The person is old enough to realize this isn't appropriate behaviour.

And yet, I'm not sure it's bad enough to do anything official about. I'm hesitant to start the landslide that could seriously change the course of this person's life. But it's not okay. It bothers me and my husband. Makes me worry about my kids. And most of all, it keeps me from some pretty important places that I love because I don't want to fuel the fire.

Is he a creeper? Dangerous? Stalker? I don't know. But I do know that it's as uncomfortable as hell.

**Update (April 30): After more texting, more incidents and one night where he spent the night across the street from my house in his car, we called the police.

He works at a grocery store a stone's throw from my house. I can't go there anymore for fear I'll run into him.

I stopped going to church because this is where I met this person. 

***Update (July 14): Even after a warning from the police, he created a twitter account and started messaging me. BLOCK. I still get texts. They're "harmless", I'm told. "How are you, how's your day, how are your kids, why haven't you been at church?"

****Update (August 21): I received my last text on the day I last updated this post. I still don't shop at that grocery store unless my husband is with me. I don't go to church anymore (although he is not the only reason for that). My phone automatically blocks texts from any unknown number. If someone wants to text me, they have to email me with their number first so I can add it as a contact. I'm just still always on edge, whenever I see a strange car hanging around, when I lose sight of my kids for a few minutes... This sucks. It'll get better, right?

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