Thursday, August 15, 2013

Boys and their Toys

Once, a friend broke away from our conversation to holler, "Caleb! Stop touching your penis, that's private!"

I laughed that nervous I don't have children laugh and sighed, "Boys. Once they find their penis they never stop touching it."

Fast forward 12 years and 2 boys later I finally have a revelation....


Ohmygoodness some days I'd swear that every other word in my house is penis. Penis jokes, penis playtime, it's a 'let's be naked and grope ourselves all the time' funhouse around here.

I realized it the other night, lamenting with my sister who is also lucky enough to be the Mom of a boy, that ALL the stories we share about our kids involve penis stories. It's not because we want to talk about our kids penises all day but because WE HAVE NO OTHER STORIES TO SHARE.

"Mom, why are they called beans and wieners?"
"Because sometimes people call them wieners instead of hot dogs."
Boy stands. "Wiener! Just like my wiener!" Gyrates his hips at the lunch table. *classy, my boy, so classy*

"MOM! Look how big my penis grew overnight!" *how do I explain morning wood?*

"Mom if I pull this back it's a surprise!" *SURPRISE!*

Boy, running away from my desk with a ruler. "I'll be right back Mom, we just have to check something!" *Comparing... already?*

"Hey N, let's use our penises like swords and be knights!" *Is THAT what they used on the battlefield?*

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"The letter P"
"P who?"
"P-E-N-I-S and you don't have one!" Hysterical laughter.

So, you know, just in case you wondered what I do all day, this is it. I listen to penis talk and penis jokes and since my kids want to be nudists forever, I get to look at them flopping around while they do the most graceful things like somersaults and wrestling.

Ain't life grand?

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