Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Emotionally Moving

I packed everything I owned into boxes. Into those boxes, I packed memories of those I have loved and lost, memories of experiences I can only hope to have again. There were knick knacks and my favourite books, childhood keepsakes and jewelry from lovers scorned. Into a box went dust collectors and photo albums and as I started into the expanse of the truck we had rented, I realized that some of those boxes would never get unpacked. Some of them may move with us another 5 times in my lifetime and I would never open them again and yet, they are just as big of a part of my history as the keepsakes I put on a shelf in a place of honour.

The other realization came after all those boxes had been loaded into the new house and I contemplated the task ahead of me; creating a new home with a new feeling while still keeping the fabric of all our memories intact. I realized that as soon as I cut open the tape on that first box, my new house, freshly cleaned and sparkly, would quickly become a storm of all the baggage we carried with us from the last one.

And as I sit here, surrounded by boxes that I don't want to open for fear of unleashing the storm, I wonder if that's the way I control my emotions.  Am I really that person that enjoys playing tetris and packing all my emotions into neat little boxes and storing them in a deep, dark corner of my mind? Do I really enjoy choosing to ignore the issues rather than unpacking the box that may or may not release a shitstorm that I may or may not be prepared for?

Yep, that's me.

Some of us are packers and other are purgers. I believe our moving style may just in fact reveal to us whether we like to pack it up and keep it for "just in case" or whether we like to purge and just get it all out there, letting the consequences render themselves after the fact.

So tell me, are you a packer or are you a purger?

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